(GK: Garrison Keillor; TK: Tom Keith; SS: Sue Scott: TR: Tim Russell)
.......first a word from the Minnesota Dept of Tourism, and here is Governor Jesse (The Body) Ventura........
TR (JESSE): Okay, I want ya to listen up, all you jackals and turkey necks ---- lemme tell ya---- When it comes to fall colors, trees don't get any better than what we got right here in Minnesota. New England, hah. Wisconsin? Ha! Buncha cheese-brains. We got the best right here, so get your butts up here to Minnesota, and see some REAL leaves. We got it all. Got your bright golden birch. We got your orange maple. Got your sumac ----those are the magenta ones. And if ya want to pick some leaves and put em between the pages of a book or something? Hey. Be our guest. And if you don't think those are the brightest leaves you ever saw in your life, I might have to come over and show you the Linguini Hold. Might have to use someone's leg for a hammer and bust some heads. Fall Vacation in Minnesota. Or else I ain't ever talking to you again. And this time I mean it. (WOOD CRUNCH)
.......Governor Jesse (The Body) Ventura, for the Minnesota Dept. of Tourism.
© Garrison Keillor 2001