(GK: Garrison Keillor; TK: Tom Keith; SS: Sue Scott: TR: Tim Russell)
(ORGAN BUTTONS AND STINGS, IN TEMPO WITH....)
GK: Have you ever said to yourself----
SS: There aren't enough hours in the day to do what I have to get done.
GK: You're working hard from dawn to dusk......
SS: And falling farther and farther behind!
GK: The treadmill's going faster and faster......
SS: Every night all I can think of is HOW MUCH I DIDN'T GET DONE!!!! (REVERB AT END)
TR: If your day isn't long enough, now you can continue working after you go to sleep. It's a simple software program called NOCTURNE. Just slip the floppy into your laptop computer and hook the two little electrodes up to your temples. And NOCTURNE keeps you productive through the night.......as you sleep.
SS: Is this going to interfere with my REM sleep?
TR: No, it won't.
SS: Will I feel dragged-out or cranky in the morning?
TR: If you do, just press Delete.
GK: Thanks to NOCTURNE you'll be able to write all your thank you notes.
SS (ZOMBIE): Thanks for the lovely dinner party Friday, the chicken croquettes were fantastic.....
GK: Pay bills.
SS (ZOMBIE): One hundred forty-six dollars and 87 cents.
GK: Respond to voice mail.
SS (ZOMBIE): Hi. Sorry I missed your call. Let's get together sometime. Call me.
GK: Write memos.
SS (ZOMBIE): Today's meeting raised some excellent points and I look forward to working closely with all of you in Marketing in the weeks ahead.
GK: Order from catalogues.
SS (ZOMBIE): Pajamas. Black. Medium.
GK: And you can read the Sunday New York Times. On Saturday night.
SS (ZOMBIE): This is interesting. An article about the future of the American theater and do audiences want plays that make them think or just mindless entertainment. Guess I'll read it.
GK: The next morning........(GLISSANDO)
TR: How'd you sleep, darling?
SS: Very well, thank you! And look at all these thank-you notes I wrote.
TR: That's great.
SS: I feel really good about sleeping now. And I feel more confident about the future of the American theater, too! Thanks to NOCTURNE.
GK: If you're falling behind in your life, maybe NOCTURNE can help. The nighttime software from Excelsior. A subsidiary of Euphonic. (BUTTON)
© Garrison Keillor 2001