(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, MJ: Maria Jette)
.....brought to you by Murphy's Plumbing.
GK: It used to be that you called up a plumber and he came right over. (KNOCKS)
TK (OFF): Plumber!
GK: And now you get a message----
SS (ON PHONE): Thank you for calling ComTrex. All of our plumbing representatives are busy right now, talking to other distraught customers. If you'd like, you may stay on the line. Whatever. Your phone call is not particularly important to us because we get thousands of them daily, but we'll answer your call when we get around to it. We are currently making appointments for April of 2002. If you need a plumber before then, why not call your local vo-tech and register for a course.....
GK: But there's still one old-fashioned plumber in town, and that's Murphy's-----
TK: Gimme a call. If I'm not there, my brother'll answer. We been in plumbing since before you were born. We've seen it all. Believe me.
TR: Just remember--- Never drop cigarettes in the toilet---- It makes them soggy and very difficult to light.
SS: Murphy's ---- the number's on the calendar right under the picture.
MJ & GK: If you're having trouble with your plumbing
And it's ten below.
When hot water simply isn't coming
And toilets overflow.
Don't despair, just call up Murphy Plumbing
No job too big or small. (GUSHING)
We'll be there in just a couple minutes,
Murphy's of St. Paul. (FLUSH)
(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor