(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
(TRAFFIC PASSING, HORNS. VOICES.)
SS: I'm calling on my cellphone---- I'll be there in five minutes ---- but I can only stay for ten minutes --- I'm due at the office at one. --- No, I can't. I'm meeting the broker then. (SHE CONTINUES, UNDER.....)
TR: In the fast-paced lifestyle of today, there simply is no time for lunch. Your competitors aren't sitting around eating soup and a sandwich, and you can't afford to either. And that's why more and more busy Americans are packing the Feed & Speed Attachable Lunch Bag in their attache cases. It's a rewashable all-cotton bag that fits comfortably on the face with a drawstring that ties around the back of the head. It contains a healthy salad with oat bran, soy powder, cracked corn, barley, and a light yoghurt dressing and you simply eat as you drive or work, leaving your hands free.
SS (MUFFLED, CHEWING CRUNCHY STUFF): I'm eating lunch --- while I drive and while I check e-mail on my cellphone ---- No problem. Thanks to Feed & Speed.
TR: When you're finished with lunch, untie the bag, use it as a napkin, and the next day, drop it off at your Feed & Speed Drive-Through Window and pick up a fresh Lunch Bag. (CAR SPEEDS UP, SCREECH OF BRAKES, ACCEL, PULLS AWAY). Our Feed & Speed scanner reads the digital tab on your side window and automatically bills you. It's fast! It's easy! It's nutritious!
SS (MUFFLED, CHEWING CRUNCHY STUFF): I'll be there in five minutes. But I can only stay for half an hour. --- No thanks, I already had lunch.
TR: The Feed & Speed Attachable Lunch Bag. Fastens to the face, ties around the head. Available for breakfast and dinner as well.
(VERY FAST PIANO ARPEG AND BUTTON)
(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor