(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
GK: Let's walk over to our kitchen area on stage (FOOTSTEPS) where Chef Earl looks like he's rustling up some barbecue on the brand new eight-foot grill from Hunka Hunka, the name to trust in barbecue grills---
TR (FFARRELL): That's right. We got a big pork butt here that we're cooking up the Hunka Hunka way.
GK: And right next to him is a beautiful girl in a tiny red bikini holding the Hunka Hunka placard.
TR: This is Julie.
SS: Hi.
GK: How are you today, Julie?
SS: Good, thank you for asking.
TR: What a doll, huh? And what a barbecue! Huh? Huh? Boy, I tell you. When you're in the mood for some good outdoor cookin', there's nothing like the eight-foot Hunka Hunka. Most of your ordinary grills, hey, maybe you can do a few burgers, but with the Hunka Hunka, boy O boy, you can accommodate a whole hog. I cooked the hindquarters of a horse on one of these. This is 18-gauge stainless steel, by the way. (CLANKS) And just look at how these burners heat up fast. (BLOWTORCH) And this motorized rotisserie can turn a rack of lamb, a turkey, AND a German shepherd ---- and all at one time!
GK: Boy, that's impressive. These briquettes, are these ceramic briquettes?
TR: I have no idea whatsoever. Who cares. Look at this. See this gun? This is how you tell when your meat is done. (GUNSHOTS) You shoot it and if it falls off the bone, then it's done. And you use a smaller caliber for tenderizing. (GUNSHOTS) See how that works?
GK: Amazing. And these trays underneath the ceramic briquettes, these must be to reflect the heat up, no?
TR: I doubt it. Who knows?
GK: You have any idea about this, Julie?
SS: About what?
GK: Never mind.
TR: I tell you, there's nothing like the Hunka Hunka eight-footer. And look, at this end, there's a seat --- you see this? You can sit down here in the cockpit and you got your instrument panel telling you exactly what's going on ---- and you can start the thing up and drive it.
GK: A self-propelled barbecue.
TR: Exactly.
GK: Well, that's great. Pretty nice grill, huh, Julie? Think you might like one of these?
SS: I'm vegetarian.
GK: Okay. That pork butt sure smells good, Earl.
TR: Lemme just torch it a little. (BLOWTORCH) There. Let's see if it's done. (GUNSHOTS) Yep.
GK: It's the Hunka Hunka eight-foot barbecue grill, self-propelled, and that's 18-gauge stainless steel. Thank you Earl. And thanks, Julie.
SS: You're most welcome. Are we done now?
GK: All done. (PLAYOFF)
(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor