(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)
Tonight's show is brought to you by Bob's Bank, home of the Smart Card. When you make a purchase with your Smart Card from Bob's Bank, we don't just check the balance in the account, we take a look at the purchase itself. That's why they call it a Smart Card.
SS: Lookit that, Roy's finally got around to doing his Christmas shopping. $8.95 for a bottle of perfume?? Eight ninety-five!! What a cheapskate. (BUZZER) Alan at the liquor store. Bottle of wine, 18 bucks, boy that seems steep to me. Better nip that in the bud - (BUZZER). What we got here? Edna at the auto body shop? $345.79. Boy, I didn't hear about that one. Musta been a doozy. (DING) Okay, here we got Sam over at the drug store. $2.95 for shampoo, $3.19 for hair pomade, $3.69 for razor blades, and - what? $7.95 for the Playboy Lingerie Pop-Up picture book?! No way, mister. No way. (THREE BUZZERS) And lookit there - Benny - video games - must be for his grandkids - (DING) Stevie Jo is buying what? Take-out what? I can't even pronounce it. Sashimi? What in the world - 28.95? That gal's been living a little high off the hog if you ask me. Oh well. (DING) And Jeff - Okay. What we got here? Gas and oil filter and two quarts of 10W 30. Okay. (BELL DING) About time he changed that oil. - And Scott - what's going on here? a cellphone - hey, just a cotton pickin minute - he bought one of those a month ago. (BUZZER) Can't slip one over on Eunice, no sir. Who's this? Russ ... hmmmmm. Woman's necklace, 99 bucks. Boy, I donno. (DING) I'm gonna look and see if Denise is wearing that next Sunday or not. - What? He's buying more? A tie clasp? A golf ball tie clasp? Oh for dumb. (BUZZER) You wait and see - he'll thank me for that someday.
GK: That's the Smart Card from Bob's Bank. When we say full service, we mean it. (DING)
(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor