(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)
....but first a word from fashion adviser Shahtoosh Figment.
SS (SOFTLY): The new look in fashion today is the soft look....very very light clothing, layered, very full, very warm and luxurious, and extremely expensive.
GK: Soft and expensive.
SS: Ultrasoft. Mega-expensive. Such as this wrap I'm wearing which is made from the fur of Persian cats woven with feathers from snowy Siberian owls. This is so soft, it feels like I'm wearing whipped cream, and it weighs about three ounces and it sells for $36,000.
GK: Those snowy Siberian owls aren't endangered, are they?
SS: Well, they're extremely anxious, let's put it that way.
GK: So leather is out?
SS: Nobody wears leather anymore.
GK: And woollen things?
SS: You never see wool anymore.
GK: Wool coats or capes?
SS: There is no more of that. Nobody wears it. Those clothes have all been donated to charity. We've moved on to the new fabrics, like my skirt here ----- made from Christmas tinsel and flower petals ---- this sells for $1150 and it's absolutely fabulous, it's the new look for the new millennium.
GK: So cotton is out too?
SS: Cotton is forgotten. Everybody is wearing these new softer fabrics. Like this blouse. This is made from steel-rolled oats and bulghur wheat.
GK: Very nice.
SS: It's feather-light and it's extremely soft because the oats and wheat are cooked before they're woven into the shirt.
GK: I see. What's holding the shirt together, if I may ask?
SS: It's applied directly to the skin.
GK: And the price?
SS: This sells for $595. And it comes not only in beige but also in claret, mango, charcoal, raspberry, cornflower, aluminum and, of course, black.
GK: Of course. Speaking of aluminum, those are nice shoes you're wearing, Shahtoosh.
SS: These are actually stainless steel.
GK: I see. Very dramatic.
SS: This is what everyone is wearing now. Stainless steel. It's completely replaced leather. Leather shoes are over. They're gone. Nobody remembers them anymore. It's all stainless steel now. It's been the most dramatic change anyone can remember. Whoosh. Everybody threw out their old shoes and bought the stainless steel.
GK: That's funny. I've never seen them on a person before.
SS: You're not from here, are you.
GK: No, I'm not.
SS: Well---- you see.
GK: And those are comfortable to walk in, stainless steel shoes?
SS: Comfortable to what in?
GK: Walk.
SS: I came in a town car.
GK: Fine.
SS: My driver is waiting. Thanks so much for having me. Remember. Softness.
GK: Softness. Shahtoosh Figment, thanks for gracing our show.
SS: It was truly my pleasure. (AIR KISS) Ta ta. (PLAYOFF)