(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)
More after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.
TR: It was a motorcycle gang like any other motorcycle gang, they rode custom Hogs with shotgun exhaust pipes and their hair was dirty and their faces speckled with dead bugs and they had tattoos all over them and even their tattoos had tattoos and they went to biker bars and drank whiskey out of oil cans, and every summer they came to Sturgis for the Rally. And then something happened. A couple of lawyers joined the gang, and then some dentists, and then an orthodontist, and pretty soon the gang started wearing helmets. They put mufflers on their bikes and enrolled in an Anger Management class. And when they went to Sturgis for the Rally, they didn't harass women, they organized book clubs, and one day the bikers were sitting and talking about Isabel Allende and they looked at each other in their short-sleeved crew-neck gray T-shirts from Gap and they noticed that instead of tattoos of skulls or snakes, some guys had tattoos of the Microsoft logo, and one of the bikers said, "You know, maybe we're not getting enough ketchup," so they started eating steak sandwiches and putting ketchup on them and pretty soon, everything was back to normal. They rode through small towns and terrorized them and took off their windscreens and let the bugs bounce off their foreheads and life was the way it was supposed to be again. All the best that a ketchup can be.
RD (SINGS):
Hop on your Harley, it's the latest model.
Head for Sturgis, open up your throttle.
Hair is flowing, like ketchup from a bottle.
GK: Ketchup ... for the good times. A message from the Ketchup Advisory Board.
(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor