(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
Tonight's show brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.
TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. The kids have moved out and gotten accepted into cults and we sold the house for a huge profit and moved into a condo complex that only allows residents who know all the words to "Yesterday". We've been exercising regularly, watching our weight, and I've found a fantastic California Chardonnay that sells for $6 a bottle. And yet, the other night I found Barb sitting up and reading Jack Kerouac. -Barb? What's wrong?
SS: Nothing, dear. Just have a case of those desolation blues, that's all. Just thinking maybe it's time to get in a car and see what's at the other end of the highway -
TR: But why? We're happy. Aren't we?
SS: Jim - remember yesterday morning when I saw the ad for a beauty makeover?
TR: Right. Why don't you go get one, honey?
SS: I did, Jim. This morning.
TR: Oh.
SS: And you didn't notice.
TR: You had a makeover? Are you sure?
SS: Jim, my hair is orange. It used to be brown.
TR: Oh. Great. And your eyes, too. Did you get blue contacts?
SS: Jim, I've always had blue eyes.
TR: Is that right? Isn't that something -
SS: Do I mean anything to you, Jim? Or am I just some drudge who goes around picking up your socks? Some waitress who brings you scrambled eggs in the morning?
TR: I don't remember having scrambled eggs this morning, Barb.
SS: We've been married for twenty-four years, Jim? Do you even know who I am??
TR: Oh, wait a minute. Right. Now I remember. Scrambled eggs and ketchup.
SS: You barely talk to me anymore. But if the phone rings and it's some young woman from work, suddenly you're Mr. Personality.
TR: That ketchup I had this morning - that must be why you can't make me feel guilty, Barb.
SS: You're probably right.
TR: I love you, Barb. Heck, I take you for granted sometimes, just like we take ketchup for granted, but I don't know what I'd ever do without either one of you.
SS: Do you mean that, Jim?
TR: You're a trusty staple in the cupboard of my heart, Barb.
SS: Oh, Jim -
RD:
These are the good years in the morning sun,GK: Ketchup. For the good times.
A new day is dawning, a new life has begun.
The river flowing, like ketchup on a bun.
RD: Ketchup ... ketchup ...
(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor