(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
(new AGE PIANO)
SS: So I was having this, like, really bad day because it was like raining out? ...and you know how my hair gets in bad weather? Like really snarky? So I was like stressed out because I had all this stuff to do and I didn't know where my styling comb was and I'm like s'posedta meet this friend for lunch but we still hadn't figured out where? and I'm like calling her cellphone? she wasn't picking up? ... so I'm going like - (CRY OF ANGUISH) -
TR: When you're having a bad day, when you're not feeling good about yourself, maybe it's time you call in a personal trainer from LCA - the Lundberg Counseling Agency.
SS (OLDER WOMAN): Listen, you little snot, get your head out of your navel and start making something of yourself. You think your hair is bad now, just wait til I start yanking on it. If you don't have more to worry about than where you're going for lunch, then I'll give you something to think about, believe me. Now get in there and clean up your room and I don't mean maybe. Git!
TR: Lundberg Counseling Agency provides personal trainers to set goals, encourage you to meet them, help you be all you can be. What your mother used to do for you, an LCA personal trainer can do in just an hour, three days a week.
SS (YOUNG): I've got this, like, incredible personal trainer ... her name is Gladys? and I mean, she's like awesome? I mean, last week? She made me, like, clean my bathroom and everything?
TR: Lundberg Counseling Agency ... devoted to personal growth.
SS (OLDER): Oh grow up ...
TR: Lundberg Counseling Agency ... in the Yellow Pages under Discipline.
(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor