(MUSIC)

TR (ANNC): Barb and I moved to Maine because we read articles about its natural beauty and low taxes and good schools and low crime rate....and then, the other night.....

(NIGHTTIME AMBIENCE)

SS: I love it in Maine, don't you, Jim?

TR: I do. (A MOSQUITO APPROACHES AND CIRCLES)

SS: Being so close to the ocean. And the mountains. And the woods and the lakes. (MOSQUITO APPROACHES. SLAP.) In Maine, I feel as if we get the best of the wilderness and the best of civilization.

TR: I do too, Barb. There's only one thing wrong.

SS: What's that, Jim?

TR: I don't know how to say this, but---- (MOSQUITO APPROACHES. SLAP.) Eating seafood, I really miss ketchup.

SS: So do I.

TR: It's not only the gentle flavor of ketchup, it's also the way it makes me feel inside.

SS: I know.

TR: Ketchup is---- it's like an old friend. It's like the smell of new-mown grass or the sound of a banjo or watching the sun come up. It's like getting a letter from home.

SS: I love you, Jim.

TR: So do I, Barb. (MUSIC BUILD BEGINS)

RD (SINGS):

These are the good years, in the golden sun,
A new day is dawning, a new life has begun,
The river flowing like ketchup on a bun.
GK: Ketchup....for the good times.

RD (SINGS): Ketchup.....

(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor