...brought to you by Fred Farrell Animal Calls. (MONKEY, JUNGLE BIRDS) When it comes to animal calls, there's just one name, and that's Fred Farrell.
TR: This is Fred Farrell. One of the most difficult animal calls to reproduce realistically is the ordinary dog bark. Here is one of my competitor's dog barks (VERY AMATEURISH WOOFS, ALMOST SPOKEN) and here is another competing dog bark (LITTLE YIPS) ----both of those on the market today, leading brands of animal calls, and both of them too ridiculous for words. At the Fred Farrell laboratories, we've worked for two years to come up with a dog bark so realistic that it'll make your home secure against any intruder. We decided from the start that it was impossible to produce a realistic portable dog bark call ---- that the mechanism necessary to make the sound realistic would probably be about the size of a refrigerator ----- and that's what we have here. (ROLLERS SQUEAKING, AS OF LARGE THING MOVING) Roll that out here, boys. Thank you. The Fred Farrell Barking Dog Machine is made of spruce wood slats, with titanium couplers, and a resonance chamber half filled with 10W-30 motor oil, three 16-inch bass woofers counter-balanced with cotton bags filled with small pebbles. It can be triggered by an electric eye, or a trip wire, or it can be operated with a remote control, but any way, it makes a dog bark that is superior to any other on the market today. Does three different dogs, German shepherd (SFX), Rottweiler (SFX), or crazed Chihuahua-greyhound mix (SFX). The Fred Farrell Barking Dog Console costs more than other dog calls, but it's more realistic, it's more reliable, and with regular maintenance, it should last your family for twenty, thirty, even forty years.
GK: Order the Fred Farrell Barking Dog Console and get, free, a whole set of Animal Calls, including aphid (SFX), bee (SFX), sea lion (SFX), deer (SFX), eel (SFX), bluejay (SFX), capon (SFX), and elephant (SFX). Fred Farrell, the name to trust when it comes to animal calls. (MONKEY, JUNGLE BIRDS)
© 1997 by Garrison Keillor