At words poetic

I'm so pathetic

That I always have found it best

Instead of getting them off my chest,

To let 'em rest, unexpressed.

I hate paradin'

My serenadin'

As I'll probably miss a bar.

So if this ditty

Is not so pretty,

At least it will tell you how great you are.

You're the top.

You're the Macchu Picchu.

You're the top.

It's so great to micchu.

You're so ravishing, I've just got to sing some notes,

When it comes to art, I ain't Mozart, but baby you're the Moz!

You are high

In the natural order,

You're as sly

As the late Cole Porter.

I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop!

But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top.

You're so terrific

I'll be specific

And say that a recent test

Of areas in the whole U.S.

Have shown that, yes, it's the Midwest.

I know I shouldn't

Sing and I wouldn't

If Placido Domingo were here,

But since he's not, I guess I've got

To tell you how great you are, my dear.

You're good news.

And we can't deny you.

You're a cruise

Down along the bayou.

You're the big hit song played along the Great White Way

You're a four-leaf clover, a bossa nova, you're Beausoleil.

You're the cry

Of a Cajun fiddler.

You're the sky,

Except somewhat littler.

I'm a toy balloon that's fated soon to pop.

But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top!

You're unique.

You're the mark of quality.

You're a week

Of a winter holiday.

You're the OED on a single CD-ROM.

You're a bar & grill, you're chlorophyll, you're Gil Shaham.

You're a trill

On his Stradivarius

You're a thrill

Though it is vicarious.

I'm just in the way, as the French would say,
"De trop."
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top!

new LYRICS © 1997 BY GARRISON KEILLOR