(PIANO)
GK: I look forward to January in Minnesota, the record snowfall and the twenty-below zero weather, because it's in January that my basic philosophy of life is tested....which I would sum up as----
Look for the silver lining
Whene'er a cloud appears in the blue
Remember somewhere the sun is shining
And so the best thing to do is make it shine for you---
It's winter that makes us cheerful here. We're cheerful because we know that God trusts us to be able to handle this. So when God has extra snow he needs to dump somewhere, or a cold wave to get rid of, God sets winter down right here in Minnesota, we are God's cold pad. God knows that it won't cause the suffering here that it would cause elsewhere, like Georgia. God could put winter wherever He wanted to put it. God is not limited to the north. But if God set winter down in Georgia, it would be a national emergency, it would cost billions of dollars in relief. They are conservatives down there, but this would change if they got a foot of snow. God sends snow to Minnesota because God knows Southern Republicans and He would never send them more than they know how to deal with.
Up here in Minnesota, we dance on the ice, we go out in the cold and take a deep breath and we sing.... we sing...
We're singing in the snow, just singing in the snow,
What a glorious feeling, it's twenty below,
There's three feet of snow,
So lovely and white,
And the weatherman says,
We'll get more tonight.
Some folks may head south,
That's fine, let em go,
But I'm singin, still singin in the snow.
I was in Texas a week ago, on a fact-finding trip, looking into conditions of life down there, and even though it was shirtsleeve weather, in the seventies, those people have their disappointments too. I'll never forget the day in Dallas (TRAFFIC, FOOTSTEPS) when I was walking along downtown and....
TR (TEXAN): Howdy there....
SS (TEXAN): Good morning, how y'all doin....
TR: Y'all from around here?
SS: We're'all from Texas, but I guess you could tell that, huh-----hooooooooo--ey!
TR: At's right, Jenny May. (HE HAWKS AND SPITS)
GK: Folks, look me in the eye now. You're not from Texas, so you can just put away those accents. You're from Minnesota. I can tell.
TR (MINNESOTAN): You're really can tell we're from Minnesota, then? You're not spoofin us or anything now, are you?
SS: How could you tell we were Minnesotans then?
GK: It was just something about you. A kind of modest charm, a sort of graceful intelligence, a sense of calm, a sense of proportion, a sense of humor, a sense of....
TR: A sense of desperation, huh. You seen that too then, didn't you, now.
GK: You're desperate down here?
SS: You ever spend January in a place where you go around in a T-shirt? Have you?
GK: No, I guess I haven't.
SS: We're ducks out of water. Heat makes you nauseous....sun gets in your eyes....it's just one thing after another.
TR: We been down in the dumps for years. Couple years ago, I went into a MacDonalds with a caulking gun and shot adhesive all over the place. Cops came, they had to wrestle me to the floor and give me a sedative. Oh yeah. It was something then.
SS: I warned em it was dangerous to give a Minnesotan a sedative cause we're already sorta down by nature, don't ya know, but they did, and he didn't speak for a whole year after that. No, sir.
TR: We can't take it down here anymore.
SS: I don't know why we ever come. I miss winter. We both do.
TR: I'd give anything to be back in Minnesota right now.
GK: Why did you leave?
SS: We got mad.
GK: You got mad?
TR: We got mad. Said we were goin' to move away, and people tried to talk us out of it, but we were stubborn, you know. We been sorry ever since.
SS: Yeah, that's for sure.
GK: Well, you know that Minnesota had to enforce a quota system on returnees.
TR: Yeah, we heard about that.
GK: Long waiting list right now.
TR: How long?
GK: About three years.
TR: Oh boy.
SS: Could you put in a good word for us? maybe talk to people up there? get us a pardon or something?
GK: I'll tell you what....you've got to
.... look for the silver lining
Whene'er a cloud appears in the blue
Remember somewhere the sun is shining
And so the best thing to do is make it shine for you---
You and I complain about snow and cold, and yet --- all over the world there are people who go to their mailbox every day hoping to see an envelope from the Secretary of State, State of Minnesota. In Japan (TR JAPANESE GIBBERISH, ENDING "MINNESOTA") and in Russia (TR RUSSIAN GIBBERISH, INCLUDING "MINNESOTA") and even in sunny Italy (TR ITALIAN GIBBERISH, ENDING "MINNESOTISSIMO" AND KISS). Some people complain about winter, I don't, I don't know anyone else who does, and because my friends and I are artists, and folks, protest was never the purpose of art, the purpose of the art is enlightenment and grace, artists don't criticize nature, we accept nature, we work from nature, and in working from nature, we try to enlarge the nature that is within each and every one of us....
SS: Oh wow. That is so here, that is so, like, incredibly now. That is so this. I mean, really.
GK: I wrote a song about winter and recorded it with my band, The Love Shovels. We are the proponents of what people are calling parka punk.
SS: Like, put it on. I mean, like, zip it up.
(MUSIC - PARKA PUNK)
Is it cold enough for you.
Is it cold enough for you.
Is it monochromatic enough for you.
Have you shrivelled far enough down in your shorts
Is it cold enough for you
Is it cold enough for you
Is your nose running the way you like it
Have you slipped and fallen about as often as you ought to
Is it cold enough for you
Would you like it colder
Have you shovelled as much snow as you were hoping to
And how about your skin, is it dry enough, do you have
enough dandruff?
You don't need grundge, you don't need punk
You got winter
You don't need to put a ring in your nose
You got winter
You don't need to listen to gangsta rap
You get to shovel
You don't need to dye your hair blue
It'll turn blue anyway
Cause you got winter
It's mean, it's ugly, it's a killer, we love it,
We love it, we love it, we love it, we love it, we love it,
we love it,
Winter.
(MUSIC FADE)
SS: You are so, like, cool. Like, you are even more than cool. Like, you are, like, cold. I mean, really.
GK: The song was a hit and I loved doing it, and it's been nominated for a Grammy, and I'm planning to be there, of course, and hope to win, but my son, who is sixteen, hated the song, of course.
(TR SON): Dad---promise you're not going to go to the Grammy Awards. I mean, please.
GK: What's the matter, Ricky?
(TR SON): Dad, if you go, I'm not going to be able to go to school anymore. And would you mind not wear your hair sticking up like that. And take off those stupid goggles. They got flashing lights on them. Geez.
GK: Those are blue snowplow lights. Everybody in the Love Shovels wears these. You don't like them?
(TR SON): How come you don't wear a suit like you used to? You used to wear white shirts.
GK: I'm sorry. I'm only trying to express myself.
(TR SON): Well, do it after I grow up, okay? Geez.
GK: Okay. Do you mind if I go out and shovel some snow?
(TR SON): Okay, but don't dance while you're doing it, okay?
GK: Okay, I won't dance.
(TR SON): Promise.
GK: Okay. I promise. Where's the shovel, by the way?
(TR SON): It's in the basement.
GK: Good. (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPEN) A positive attitude --- some perseverance --- goals ---- it's what a person needs, whether you're in rock and roll or radio or anything. Some people think it's hip to be bitter. I don't. I'm sorry. (CLICKS OF SWITCH) Darn. The light bulb's burnt out again. I don't know why I keep forgetting to replace that. (DESCENDS DOWN CREAKING STEPS) -- --- Dark down here. All that snow in the window wells. Can't even see outlines of things. I suppose that shovel is over by the door to the furnace room. Gosh it's dark down here. (SEARCHING FOOTSTEPS ON CONCRETE) Where is that furnace room?
(TK): It's to your left.
GK: To my ---- Larry?
(TK): Is it still snowing outside?
GK: Larry, what are you doing down here?
(TK): I live here. Remember?
GK: We talked about this in October, Larry. You agreed. You were going to vacate our laundry room, and you were going to find a program or something.
TK: There's no programs for people like me.
GK: Larry----
(TK): You and I were best friends in high school.
GK: That was a long time ago, Larry.
(TK): I used to write your term papers.
GK: Larry----
(TK): I was accepted into Harvard. And then I was crossing the street one day and you threw that snowball.
GK: Larry, it was a very soft snowball. The snow was like slush.
(TK): It hit me in a certain place on the top of my head. It caused a personality change. I fell down in the street and I could feel that my thinking was different, everything was different. That snowball changed everything.
GK: Get over it, Larry.
TK: For me, that was the snowball from hell....
GK: Larry, listen. You've got to go out and live your life while you still have some left to live. Larry, that snowball was thirty-five years ago.
(TK): I'm not ready to go out there yet. The light hurts my eyes.
GK: That's because you live in the dark.
(TK): How do I know that?
GK: Go outside. You'll get used to the light.
(TK): That's easy for you to say.
GK: It's easy to say because it's true, Larry.
(TK): I'll go out tomorrow. If the snow stops and it gets warmer.
GK: Larry, you can't spend your life in a dark basement.
(TK): I like it here. I sleep real good here.
GK: Larry, it's not too late to be normal.
(TK): It is too. I'm your age. Remember?
GK: Larry, you need to get out, meet people, make a life for yourself.
(TK): Nobody wants to meet a weird guy.
GK: You're not that weird.
(TK): I am too. If you knew what I was thinking now, you'd know I'm weird.
GK: Larry, do you have something sharp in your hand right now?
(TK): No.....Oh---- what's this? Oh. It's a shovel. I thought it was an axe. But it's only a shovel. I guess it's sharp. Ouch. Yes. It's real sharp. There's something wet on it though. Wet and sticky.
GK: Okay. Larry--- put the shovel down, okay?
(TK): Okay. You don't want me to shovel your snow?
GK: No, I want you to stay down here, and just write in your journal, okay?
(TK): Okay. But when I read what I wrote in my journal, it scares me....
GK: Listen, Larry ----
A heart filled with joy and gladness
Can always banish sadness and strife,
So always look for the silver lining
And try to find the sunny side of life.
(TK): Maybe if you threw another snowball and hit me in the same place, maybe it'd clear up the whole problem.
GK: I don't think so, Larry.
So always look for the silver lining
And try to find the sunny side of life.
(BAND CHORD BUTTON)
© 1996 BY GARRISON KEILLOR