(MUSIC)
TR: Slowly, as the earth turns away from the sun, the days get shorter and the shadows lengthen and thousands of elderly people go to the airport to fly to Florida and they pre-board and they disappear, only their carry-ons remain--- time for another episode of That's Odd.
(MUSIC)
SS: What would you like to do today?---
GK: Me? Well---
SS: ---Because I was thinking that we could go downtown and look at the Montrachet exhibit and then shop for a gift for Beverly's wedding and meet my sister for lunch. How does that sound?
GK: Who is Montrachet?
SS: He's the one who does torn paper collages.
GK: I see. Well, fine.
SS: Is that what you'd like to do?
GK: Sure.
SS: And then we could stop at the grocery on the way home. What would you like to eat for dinner tonight---
GK: Well, I ----
SS: ---Because I was thinking we could have a cold poached salmon in dill sauce with a mesclun salad and steamed asparagus and pureed mangoes and raspberry for dessert. Does that sound good?
GK: Good.
SS: Is that what you'd like?
GK: Sure.
SS: Because if you'd rather have something else, that's okay.
GK: No, that's fine.
SS: Good. (PAUSE) But you don't like salmon, do you.
GK: No, it's fine.
SS: Good. (PAUSE) This year has sure gone by fast.
GK: It sure has.
SS: Tuesday is New Year's Eve.
GK: I know.
SS: What would you like to do?
GK: Why don't you decide?
SS: No, I want to do something that you want to do too.
GK: I'm sure that whatever you come up with will be fine.
SS: No, you tell me what you'd like to do.
GK: I don't know.
SS: What would you like to do New Year's Eve?----
GK: Well, you know, we could----
SS: ---Because I was thinking--- the Meadowbrook is putting on a dance with a big orchestra --- black tie ---- buffet ---- doesn't that sound like fun? Go to a dance?
GK: Sure.
SS: Well, actually, you hate dancing, don't you?
GK: No, no.
SS: You hate dancing---
GK: No, we can go to the dance.
SS: You hate to dance the tango.
GK: No, it's just that----
SS: Good. Because I made the reservations already. For us and my sister and Bob.
GK: Your sister and Bob?
SS: Yes. Is that a problem?
GK: No. That's fine.
SS: Are you sure?
GK: No.
SS: No? You're not sure?
GK: No problem.
SS: Good. (PAUSE) It'll be fun. (PAUSE) It's a wonderful orchestra. (PAUSE) It's called the Tango Kings. (PAUSE) From Buenos Aires. (PAUSE) I was thinking that probably we should start planning our summer vacation. (PAUSE) Some of those trips tend to fill up fast, you know.
GK: Which trips?
SS: A lot of the good trips fill up fast.
GK: Good trips where?
SS: Good trips.
GK: Where? where have you booked us to?
SS: No place. Where would you like to go?
GK: Little Rock.
SS: Little Rock! That's a peculiar place to go for a vacation? Who do you know in Little Rock?
GK: Nobody. But I'd like to.
SS: Why do you want to go there?
GK: I don't know, I just do.
SS: What's there to do in Little Rock?
GK: I don't know. I want to find out.
SS: I never knew anybody who went to Little Rock for vacation...
GK: Neither did I. We'd be the first.
SS: Are you sure you want to go to Little Rock?---
GK: Yes.
SS: ---Because I thought we could go on this wonderful tour I read about --- London, Paris, Copenhagen, St. Petersburg, Moscow ---- it's a ballet tour--- you get to see all the great companies, tour backstage, see rehearsals, visit schools---
GK: Sounds nice.
SS: We're going in June. With my sister and Bob.
GK: Fine.
SS: Doesn't that sound good?
GK: Yes.
SS: I think you'll like it.
GK: I'm sure I will.
SS: I really think you'll have a good time.
GK: I'm sure.
SS: I'm glad you're taking a positive attitude toward it.
GK: I do.
SS: You seem much more positive lately. Much more cheerful.
GK: I am.
SS: You don't seem so gloomy the way you used to be.
GK: No.
SS: I'm glad to see you so happy.
GK: I am happy.
SS: That makes me happy to see you happy.
GK: Good.
SS: What would you like to wear to New Year's Eve?
GK: I don't know. I suppose---
SS: Because I saw the most wonderful powder-blue tuxedo the other day (DOORBELL) --- Oh, that must be him now. (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPEN) Hello, Dmitri.
TR (FRENCH): Good morning. How are you? And this must be Bud---
GK: Who's this, Heather?
TR: I am the tailor. Glad to meet you. (THEY SHAKE HANDS) I'm on sort of a tight schedule this morning, so--- if you don't mind ---- you stand there--- good ----forty-six----and----thirty-eight----and the sleeve----good, thank you.
SS: I was thinking of the powder-blue jacket? the sparkly one? with the high collar--- you know? that comes up behind the head?
TR: Yes. The Wayne Newton model.
GK: The what?
SS: You'll like it.
TR: You want ruffled shirt or plain?
SS: Ruffled.
TR: Good. Will that be cash, check, or credit card? We prefer Mastercard, but we accept Visa or American Express---
SS: Visa.
TR: Thank you. (PUTS CARD IN SLIP PRINTER, SLIDES SLIDER, TAKES CARD OUT) Mind if I use your phone?
SS: Go right ahead. (FOOTSTEPS. HE DIALS NUMBER ON KEYPAD. PHONE RING, ROOM PERSPECTIVE.) ---(to GK) Are you all right?
GK: Sure. I'm fine.
TR: This is #483-GB-4721R-- and the card number is 4029-3421-59, expiration date 4/97---- for the amount of $2,250 dollars.
GK: Two thousand two hundred and fifty dollars?
SS: Is that okay? It's a really nice tux.
GK: I guess so.
SS: Does that seem high or low?
GK: It's fine.
TR: Oh. --- Okay. Thanks. (HANG UP) That credit card for some reason didn't go through. You have another one?
SS: You have a credit card, don't you, Bud?
GK: Yes, but --- I think it's in the car.
SS: Well? Go get it.
GK: Okay. (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPEN, CLOSE.)
TR: So you need this by New Year's Eve?
SS: Yes. We're going to a big dance.
TR: I see. (CAR PULLING AWAY, OUTDOORS) What was that?
SS: It sounded like a car. (FOOTSTEPS) Why--- it's Bud. He drove away. He didn't say anything about going somewhere. That's odd.
(THEME)
TR: "That's Odd" was written by Muriel T. Brubaker. The nights get longer, the snow piles up in the woods, and one by one they pre-board the plane to Tampa and somewhere beyond row 18, they vanish--- (DOOR OPEN) What? No. No, not me. No! NO! AIEEEEE. (DOOR SLAM) MUSIC OUT.
© 1996 BY GARRISON KEILLOR