GK: Al, I understand you've received a big honor recently.
AF: Garrison, I feel this way about that: a man cannot be honored, honor comes from within, a man must honor himself. That's how I feel about it.
GK: Good, so I understand you've recently honored yourself.
AF: Yes, I have. I've been inducted recently into the Hall of Als. The Hall of Als honors the Als who've made great contributions to America, contributions that mostly went unnoticed --- because their name was Al. It's a pantheon of Al Americans and it includes:
Al Capp, Al Cohn, Al D'Amato, Al Dente, Al Franken, Al Gore, Alexander the Great, Al Green, Al Hirt, Al Jolson, Al Michaels, Al Pacino, Al Ritz --- one of the Ritz Brothers --- Al Sharpton, Al Smith, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Al Cid, and Czar Alexander.
It was a very famous Al --- the Russian composer, Alexander Gudonov ---- who once said, "Your're Gudonov, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you." And he was talking about us Als when he said it.
GK: And you're here, in behalf of the Hall of Als, to make a special presentation.
AF: That's correct. Garrison, many Als have appeared onstage, have had their names up in lights, but most Als have worked behind the scenes, and that's why, in our Hall of Als, we have a great many stagehands, and now we'll have one of yours. A member of the stage crew since 1990, a native of Brooklyn, N.Y., he followed the show to Minnesota when you moved back there in 1992 and I'd like to present this "Call Me Al" commemorative pin and give a big Al handshake to Mr. Al Frechtman.
©1996 BY GARRISON KEILLOR