GK:....after a message from the Cafe Boeuf.
(SLOW MUSIC, THIRTIES TUNE, SLIGHTLY OFF KEY)
TR: (GEEZER) I moved in here so I wouldn't have to cook for myself but I tell ya. It's boring to be around old people. Take it from me. And the food is tasteless. So I cancelled Meals on Wheels and I ordered the Cuisine Limousine from the Cafe Boeuf. (DOORBELL) Here he is now. (DOOR OPEN, FOOTSTEPS)
TK: FRENCH GIBBERISH
TR (GEEZER): Yeah, just put it on the table. Hope it isn't frog legs again. Not enough meat on those things to feed a cat.
TK: FRENCH GIBBERISH
TR (GEEZER): That steak yesterday was okay but you put too much pepper on it and some kind of a sauce, I had to wipe it off with a paper towel before I could eat it.
TK: FRENCH GIBBERISH (CORKSCREW AND POP)
TR (GEEZER): Well, that's better.
TK: GIBBERISH, AND POURS WINE
TR (GEEZER): I like the red better than the white. The white does something to my kidneys. Keeps me up all night. The red is good.
TK FRENCH GIBBERISH AND RATTLE OF STEEL COVER ON SERVING DISH AS IT IS UNCOVERED
TR (GEEZER: Chicken. Okay. Now you're talking. And what are these here? these yellow things?
TK FRENCH GIBBERISH
TR (GEEZER): Oh well. Who cares----
GK: Yes, if you're over seventy and you're getting tired of the same old food, call Maurice at the Cafe Boeuf and order Cuisine Limousine.
TK: GIBBERISH
GK: We bill it to Medicare under pharmaceuticals.
© Garrison Keillor 1996