GK: Coming up later on many of these stations, another episode of MIKE FARLEY, SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR. (STING)
TR: Faster than a galloping horse! (SFX) More powerful than a locomotive! (SFX) Able to leap up from his desk at a single bound! (SFX) Endowed with amazing physical powers far beyond those of mortal men. And who, disguised as a mild-mannered high school principal, wages a never-ending battle for truth and fairness.
SS: Mike, the school is surrounded by a mob of angry parents. There's a TV news helicopter hovering overhead. The superintendent is on the phone. The heating system isn't working. The teachers are holding a meeting. The cafeteria is running low on supplies. Toilets won't flush. There are rabid badgers running loose in the parking lot.
MF: Hey---- don't get all riled up, Lois. It's just one more day at Anoka High School. Where's the coffee?
SS: Here's the coffee, sir.
MF: Good. And what about the students?
SS: They're all sitting at their desks, doing their work, sir.
MF: Good. Nothing to worry about, then.
FN (TEEN): I'm having a hard time understanding the theory of relativity, Mr. Farley.
MF: It's just about the relationship between space and time, Jimmy. And the equivalence of mass and energy. E=mc squared.
FN (TEEN): Oh. Right. Gosh, thanks, Mr. Farley.
SS: Mr. Farley?
MF: Yes, Lois?
SS: There's a 500-pound anvil suspended by a cable hanging over your desk and the cable is just about to snap---- get out of the way!
(SCRAPE OF CHAIR, FAST STEPS, CRASH, CRUNCH)
SS: Wow, that was a close call.
MF: Thanks, Lois.
(PHONE RING, PICK UP)
SS: Principal's office. ---- For you, Mike.
MF: Put it on Speaker. (CLICK)
TR (OBAMA): Mike? It's Barack. Barack Obama. How's everything in Anoka?
MF: Never better, Mr. President. What can I do for you?
TR (OBAMA): Listen. I have President Putin on the line. Would you mind having a word with him?
MF: My pleasure. (CLICK, STATIC. CLICK)
TR (PUTIN) (RUSSIAN.....Mike Farley?
MF: Good to hear from you, Vladimir.
TR (PUTIN) (RUSSIAN)
MF: Well, I don't want to tell you what to do, but like I tell my students: it helps to think about the things we agree on first, and then talk about where we disagree. Try it. It helps.
(THEME)
TR: MIKE FARLEY, SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR. Coming up next on many of these stations.